2017

Here we are in 2017. It happened so fast, I was still trying to get to know 2016 and it's all over.  Within a short time this year, I have experienced a new high and a new low. I have been over the moon, but have been punched and kicked (not literally) too. I have been humbled and I have been forced to learn. Within seven days, I have been reminded to live my life with more appreciation. My patience was tested and my good intention was completely ignored. But these are not new, these are parts and pieces of life. Unexpected things happen and you are expected to remain standing no matter how wobbly your knees are and how much pain you are experiencing.

Life can be cruel sometimes, that happens too and we all know that. It's delusional to think that good things will continuously happen to good people, that having positive attitude will make you immune of being attacked by people that are having bad days or people that are not happy with themselves. Everyone is a moving target. It's delusional to think that putting a smile and brave face will make things better.

The truth is that is not always the case. Yes, you do not want to be a victim, yet you could be a victim. Time is the key to healing, although you may not completely heal. You just have to keep on trying to heal yourself  and that may not be an easy job. Hang in there and try again. And again.

When It Hurts

There are days when things don't hurt, but there are also days when things hurt so bad. All you have to do is to hang in there, to think about sunshine and to imagine the rainbow in the sky after the rain subsides. And you keep on dancing along the music with a bright colored lolly in your hand, strolling along a lovely beach. You keep on going, you keep on walking. Until it hurts no more. Because I know, if you hang in there long enough, the pain you feel will go away. I am with you all the way. ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑

“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way."

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...."

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."

Can it think?"

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

What's it for?"

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

You are a genius, " said the angel.

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.”
― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/sadness 

When Love Hurts ....

The same people that you love and care so much, sometimes are the same ones that hurt you the most. Doesn't that make you wonder if you should ever love and care? But love and care, naturally were born and you can't possibly deny the feelings. They say love should not hurt, but love does. That's confusing. How could two conflicting things be true? Maybe because both could happen. I am not an expert in this as I am just a student of life. The one that continuously learns and build up her wealth of experience. But I, have things to say and am allowed to say it. I earned this.

They say love is beautiful. When you are hurt because you love, you can no longer see it as beautiful, can't you? It hurts, it hurts and it hurts. All you can feel is pain. Life is hard, life is challenging, sometimes you don't even know how to deal with it. You continue driving, but you keep on bumping the walls. North, west, south and east. Every direction seems wrong.  You are bruised, you are exhausted. You want the pain to stop, but even as you stop, the pain lingers.

I'd say, maybe you should leave. Leave your current place completely and go to the place or places where love is there for you. You know where it is. Maybe a new group of people, people that share your interests and appreciate your achievements, where your experience is valued and admired, as you should be. A place where you are respected, because you are truly great at what you are doing. A place where you can be beaming with pride among the people that make you smile and laugh, where you can love and be loved. You deserve that and much more. Go there! Love.

Every Day

We have finally arrived on the last day of 2015, the year that practically has passed in front of my eyes, so extremely past, that I could barely keep up. It has been a very busy year and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for all things that I have experienced this year, the goods, the bads and the 'somewhere in between'. There's no way to turn back the clock and I would not want to speculate on doing things differently in the past. I am looking ahead.

I do not do new years resolutions, I simply move on. I appreciate everyday and 1 January is the same. Yes, it is the beginning of new year, but everyday is a new day.

There are good things every day. There are different good things everyday. You just have to recognize them, because if you don't, everyday is like the same.

With good things, there are challenges everyday. Different days bring you different challenges. Some are harder than the others, some are more interesting than the others, but lets hope that they will make you a stronger and better person, no matter how much your heart break and how lonely you probably feel.

The sun will rise again tomorrow and you will be presented with new good things and new challenges. Just open your heart and open your mind. Appreciate the beauties and think little, if not nothing, of negatives. Because life is too short. Excessive anger, frustrations, worries and negative people are not worthy. Surround ourselves with positive things and people and make the best of every thing and every situation you are in.

So. It's Getting Together Time

So, Christmas was here again. We baked, we cooked, we made drinks, we made plans on what to do. Now, we got together. We wished each other a happy and joyous time and it's all good. Merry Christmas everyone! It's all good time, smiles and laughter.

Then that are some people who are tired and might have an unpleasant day, started to take it on other people. People that do nothing wrong at all. Or maybe people that also are having bad day but keep it to themselves.  There are people that are simply negative and focus on negatives and with or without their knowledge, spread their negativity. Bad things began to unfold. Happiness vanished. Christmas was no longer a merry one, getting together turned into an unpleasant event.

It's almost like cancer. It's easier for outsiders to theorize on what to do and what not to do, but for some people, the word for it is "being stuck". Yuck.

About Betrayal ..

Sometimes you are put in a bad situation that you do not exactly ask for. Some are insignificant. Like you are sitting in a church and someone came along and sitting next to you. This person loves to sing but she or he is tone deaf. Painful, I know. You could move away or you could simply sit there because it is not important enough to move. But there are times when you are in bad spot because people surround you with inappropriate things that you do not deserve. Maybe your husband cheat on you and have kids with some other women. Maybe someone you know, use your money without your permission and try to cover it up from you until you find out. Maybe someone that you do not know park their cars in your house without your permission when you are abroad and let your corrupted and extremely stupid housekeeper let it happen and try to cover up when she was caught.

People lie to protect themselves, people lie because they know that they are wrong and they are afraid of what you will do. They are afraid of the consequences for telling the truth.  They are afraid of what people think of them when they discover that you cheat, you lie, you have affairs with many women and you have kids with them too. They are ashamed of themselves. They should be.  Some people tell a little truth to show that they put effort into helping you, which you know may not be not true as well. But because you are smart enough, you know how to put things together, then you can safely arrive at a conclusion that these fools are trying to fool you. Only a fool does that, what an insult to our intelligence, don't you think?

T'was an ordinary Saturday, except that I was home alone today. I expected coffee in the morning, right after I got up, followed and simultaneously by checking the news and mails and browsing anything I wanted to see on the net, I minded my own business. It went that way. At least for a while, until I received bad news that basically can be translated as betrayal by the person that we had trusted for a long time. Unexpectedly. Do not imagine that it was such a massive magnitude. It was actually rather small thing. But it was still bad.  Nobody likes to get cheated or lied to. I know it is wrong to expect that life sail smoothly all the time.  Just like everyone else, when things do not go your way, I am disappointed. I have been disappointed before.  Many times. But when the same thing comes across, I could not help getting hurt and upset.

It always takes time to digest. It always takes more time to process. It takes longer times to figure out what to do. And it takes the longest time to accept and move on. Maybe. But. Just think of the people that have betrayed us as worthless human being that do not even deserve a second of our time. There are so much more precious and beautiful things in life that you rather spend your time on.   There are always a bunch of people that constantly do not appreciate what they have gotten from us and think that they all deserve to take things that do not belong to them. You probably know what i am talking about.

Simply, these idiots are not worth our time and I am doing my best to remove these cancerous bugs out of my life. I am moving on with my wonderful life. My WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL life.

About Disappointment

Disappointment hits when reality does not meet expectations. Do not set your expectations too high if you do not want to get disappointed. I am fully aware of that, I have been for a while. For certain things, I try to be as fair as possible in terms of expectations. Have a reasonable goal for the amount of work you put. If you don't study hard, do not expect to get an A on your exam. If you don't work hard, do not expect a promotion at work. And so forth.

Having said that, if the people that you prioritized in your life, that you cared for and dedicated your life for,  that you lost amazing opportunities so that they could advance, do not even care one bit, moreover making you a priority, then being disappointed comes so naturally, don't you think?  Let's not make excuses for these people. We all have 24 hours in a day, no one gets more, nobody gets less.  Everyone has a little bit of  or more money, a roof or more over their heads and plenty of clothes to wear. None of these people that I am talking about are living in poverty, their primary needs are satisfied. It is about gratitude that they are lacking of.  It is about priority that they do not have,  it is about respect that is not shown, it is about love and care for the people that have loved you and given up so much for you, that are not poured out.

I do not get why some people do not understand that. I may not ever comprehend that pitiful behavior. Maybe these people simply do not care. Maybe there's something else. Whatever it is, I trust that disappointment is in order.

About My Father

It has been decades since he passed away. He left us for too long, way back when I was an innocent  little girl who pretty much thought of the world as a simple as she was. Even the death of a parent was not too impactful at that time. I remember seeing my mother's deep pain, being left with nine children. The tears, the sorrow, the spoken and unspoken sadness as the world collapsed upon us. Months and years of worries on how to pay for school, food, and the roof. 

Ignorance was a bliss for a young girl like me back then, for if I knew what's coming ahead, I probably would crumble into pieces, not having any means to cope. I saw people, I saw relatives, I saw many of them feeling sorry for us, I heard the talk about how young my father was to have died at 48, how the death was so unexpected. Again and again. But I didn't see a great deal of assistance from them. Nothing much to be fair. We were surrounded mostly by people who financially struggled too. Those who weren't, probably stayed away. We were just too much in deep, too many to help. We were all too lost, we did not know where to go and what to do. But we united as a family. 

How ironic it is for now I see that wealthy people keep on getting gifts and stuff that they do not need while for certain they could afford buying those stuff themselves while poor people barely get anything for free. Irony. Financially helpless people hang around the same kind and when they are in trouble, in most cases, their companies are either aren't willing or aren't able to help. Life is never fair since, I'd like to say here, the beginning of time. Poverty sometimes destroys people but in many it could fire up people in being the best they possibly could. 

Back to my father. The truth is I hardly knew him. I can only remember bits and pieces of my interactions with him, but I can't confidently say if those are my real memories of him or the memories that I retained from being fed by my older siblings. 

He was the reason of my presence in this beautiful yet complicated orb. I could not change the number of years he spent with me, with us and with the world, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try. He left way too soon, before color tv became a norm in every household. Before computer and mobile phones become common words among  most people. Before the Internet and the wifi take over the world. He left before learning that Facebook could hurt but also benefit human kind. He left without seeing how extraordinary his children and grandchildren grew up to be, how they survive pains and suffering the world and people cause and how they go through the joys and happiness in life. 

I don't know him well, I don't him much, but this day, as I am sitting on the plane taking me to Shanghai from Singapore, sitting next to my best friend in this planet, I really want to take my time to remember him. Whatever he left behind, it is up to us to make something or nothing out of it. 

I am grateful for the amount  and for what he left. People might think that he practically left nothing much behind. But for me, the little thing he left gave me a strong drive to be better than best in every single thing I do. It could backfire at times as I am always my hardest critique and I am not forgiving of my mistakes.

But dad, rest in peace. 

How about..

I am nobody's last resort, I am someone's first priority.

Saturday morning, on another hazy day. Now that I am back from my short holiday and you know that, how about asking me how the holiday went. It's fine that you did not wish me a safe journey, I know you don't have me in your mind because you are simply busy with your own life and these days, you don't need me for anything much other than being here and continue existing.

How about stop saying that I am doing negative things to the relationship when I ask how things are and tell you to regularly update me with what's going on in your life and how I feel it is appropriate that you show care about my life?

This relationship has become so imbalanced, with me constantly share the stories of my life with you and you hardly share anything. You constantly disappear and only appear when you need something from me.  Communication is a two way street and so is relationship. It is always about give and take, more or less the same amount. It's about being there in sadness and happiness.  If I want a one way relationship, I'd write a blog post like this, without any expectations that people will write back. When I write to someone directly, it is only right to expect some responses.

Do not think that I am leading a lonely life because my life revolves around so few people now! It's better to have few friends than thousands of acquaintances.
Do not think that I am needy because I need to hear from you! Caring about someone that is closely related is not needy, caring about someone that you know for a long time is not pathetic.  It's too bad that you think otherwise.

Don't believe that love is conditional, even the love from your parents or your spouse.  You need to know that if you constantly treat the ones that love you like they don't matter, even if there were your parents, you could simply forget about being loved. Everyone might leave you.  Everyone could leave you to a better place.

People are smart enough to spend time with those who make them happy and better and do not want to waste time on things that are miserable and bring negativity. Life is too short, babe! Everyone wants to be happy.

How about you learn to genuinely care about the people that have been crucial in life? #gratitude

About Marrying

Don't marry a man who doesn't love his mother and a woman who hasn't been a good daughter.

by unknown

A quote I read today.

About Something From The Past

 "For every minute you are angry you waste 60 second of happiness"

I always say, no. There is way to turn back the clock. Many of us would probably live our lives differently if we could turn back the clock.  There are many things, including good things that you did to other people that you regret. You think that after looking at things now, some people are better left alone and you could your resources to help others that are truly in need.

I was blinded by gratitude and the notion that blood is thicker than water, so I helped and helped. I let myself, in a way, got cheated. Let me begin with one case, because I have many. We loaned a vehicle to someone to help them move around more easily because they were in rather strenuous financial situation, they ended up selling it and kept the money to enlarge their wealth. We also agreed to lend money for them to buy second or third house after hearing their pitiful story.  At zero interest. And probably took six years to pay back. And more other things, using us and our money to further enriching themselves. When opportunities arise to help their brothers in need, they raised the issues they were facing with their business, their children in college and everything else. What a disappointment to me! What a shameful thing they are! I do not understand why I could not see their true colors earlier.

A decision I made 20 something years make me think sometimes, that I have wasted my time on doing things for other people and what I did for them, don't seem to matter anymore to these people. They just took free things from me and ran away with them. Those are too many years that have gone and can't be taken back and that make wonder how things turned up should I decided differently.

Some people might say, it is our job to help the less fortunate ones and those who need help. I agree, it is our job. But, to what extent? Only now, I realize that it took too much of me. Only now, I become aware that I want something in return.  Don't get me wrong, never in my dream that I expect to be monetarily paid. What I'd like to get is to see is gratitude and kindness from them to the people that have helped them, when they were down and needed help. I'd like to see that they are kind to those who need help too. Sadly, some people are selfish. And sadly, I have wasted on selfish people.

Having said that, I have no intention to make my life miserable because of these people and and their behavior. What I hope is that, this could be a lesson to some. Real blood is thicker than real water and I am not talking about the idiom. But I question if relatives and family are always worthier to help than strangers, in many cases, they are the cause of miserable part of our life.

Go on with our life, be happy and continue helping others in need.

"Don't get mad, don't get even. Do better. Much better. Rise above. Become so engulfed in your own success that you forget bad thing ever happened."

If

If you care enough about someone, you will always have time to ask how are you.

If you respect the people that care about you, you will always have the time to let them know that you are alright. 

You have time to chat with your friends, check you Facebook and surf the Internet, you are for certain have a minute for the people that love you unconditionally and have given so much of their time for you. 

It is courtesy, it is respect. 

About Living Away From Home For College

Living thousand miles away from home has its perks. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. In random order,  whichever pops up in my head, here they are:

1. Sleeping business, I can wake up and go to bed whenever I want and nobody comes to my room to bug me and tell me off. Bonus point, there is no need to tidy up the bed.

2. I can miss my classes or arrive late and my parents would not know that.

3. I can fail on my exams and my parents would not know because I am above 18 years old and they can't find out about my grades without my consent.

4. They pay for my tuition and room and board and I don't have to work to earn a living as long I am enrolled.

5. I can buy and eat whatever I want, as much or as little.   I can have so many different snacks in my room and have all of them opened and my parents would not know.

6. I can wear my contact lens longer than 12 hours and nobody tells me to take them off.

7. I can rewear my clothes and my underwears as many times I wish and my parents would not know.  I can dress the way I want and nobody tells me off. My shorts are too shorts or my tees are wrinkled, who cares???

8. I can go out and go home anytime I want. No curvew.

9. There's so much joy I have and can give by telling my parents that I am studying, having a group study, reading my text books or doing my homework. It's a nice gesture to text them, that I am in the library. (Techincally, I am inside the library, that's it.)

10. I don't have to pick up their phone calls as I could be in the class or studying in the library, or sleeping, because of different time zone.

11. If I don't reply their email and text messages and my parents can't do anything about it.

12. I can spend all day and all night with my special friend, friends, watching whatever one after another and nobody tells me off.

13. Back to laundry business, I don't even have to do my laundry. I simply keep the dirty ones  and bring them home and someone else will do it because she can't stand the sight of them.

14. I don't have to do the dishes if I do not want to. I just leave them out there until there is a need for them or the desire to clean up, comes. Whichever comes first.

15. I can let the dust piles up as tall as Empire State building and my parents would not know and tell me off.

16. I can miss most of Sunday masses and my parents become too tired to tell me off and I can continue missing Sunday masses

17. There is always a way to turn things around and make them my parents fault, for example if they, from time to time remind me to go to church or not to do certain bad things, I could say: "You tell me that so many times already!!"

(You see, I am actually saying, you are nagging me! I know I never reply to my parents, despite repeat reminders.  It will be okay, parents' love is unconditional. They will still love me!)

18. If they start threatening me with cutting off the fund or relationship, I can always attack them and say, "You always threaten me! I don't say anything bad.". This should make them feel bad because good parents do not threaten. Good parents kindly give terms and conditions like banks giving out loans.

19. Technicality. Reply only what is asked. I do not volunteer unnecessary information that reveals my lack of work ethics that are not in line with my parents value.

20. I can always go home to a super clean and tidy room and a house full of love and food, totally the opposite of how I left it.

About Having Kids

I came across a written thought by someone about how people without kids have empty lives. The writer stated that she respected their decision not to have children but she thinks that they miss out the joy of loving someone unconditionally. Under the article, I noticed some of the labels were babies, parenthood, having kids.  Further down, there are  more than 2000 many comments that basically say that the writer was ignorant. I did not read all the comments, but many of the recent ones, are not in the same position.  Let me begin by saying, she is entitled to have her opinion.

It seems rather obvious that this person talks about babies and toddler. She is probably not aware that cuteness stops at 5 years old. She is likely has not gone through teenage years as well. While many are good, some teenage kids are really nightmare. Some decide to quit school and just hang around.  I read, just a couple of days ago, some children behaved well until they turned 18. This boy, moved out of the house, decided not to go to college and made a 16-year old girl pregnant. Yup, there are drug and alcohol problems too. Some people blame that on the parents, some view that it is not parents' fault. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I believe that everyone's thought is largely shaped by the experiences they have collected. But the world is large, the data population is enormous. There are so many, too many different cases. I would say anything is possible, it's hard to put all in one box. It's like a blind man concludes that elephant is flat simply because he touches the elephant's ear  only, instead of the whole body.

And wait till the kids hit 20s! You think that they become mature and things start to get better? Not necessarily. Some of them go to bed so late and get up when the sun is up and I have had two meals. Their second parents, named Internet and peers, help them justify everything they do. It does not matter that the parents have set up excellent example of living a proper life. These kids, at 20 something, think that they know EVERYTHING, more than they parents do. They just, sometimes, do not have money and they do not have job. They also have no house yet, so they have to stay with you and ask for some allowances every now and then. They do as little chores as possible, if not zero.

It's not over yet until the fat lady sings, at least for some. There are some ungrateful human beings out there. Some "children" continue to be problematic even after they reach 60. I have seen a few around me, some 60 plus that continue troubling their parents and siblings. Endless problems of theirs become someone else's problems too. The minute no help is given, they start terrorizing family members. When ultimatum is given, they call it a threat and they turn things around and make it like it is your fault and you are a bad, bad, really bad person. They continuously create problems for the people that love and care about them.

I never knew the challenges that I could have with having kids. I was very young and naive. I was under the assumptions that kids are all about joy. It seemed like it was part of my culture to have kids after you get married; that was just the next thing.  I have learned, however, that the pains were not just on having contractions and giving birth. The pains were not simply on feeding and lack of sleep. The babies do not come with a manual that prepare you to be parents or better parents. It doesn't caution you to be prepared of, in some cases, the hurtful words hurled upon you when she/he can speak and when they think they know everything and you know less. Also, there is no warning that sometimes your heart could be so wounded and you could start questioning yourself if you are out of your mind for feeling that way.

Would I have kids if I knew what it takes? I say yes, because I simply have known my kids and would not want otherwise. It is not their choice to be brought into this world, it is our choice to have them. Having said that, we also have to take what's given, we can not choose which ones to have.  Big eyes, shorter legs, with great talents or no talent at all, dimple or no dimples. So, we look after them. We take good care of them whether they want it or not. We are human, we are not perfect. We can only try our best. We deal with what we have, until we can not deal anymore.

She

Have you ever given a thought of who loves you the most in this whole wide world? I definitely have.  The answer for me would not be my mother, because she has gone to a better place, joining my father and accompanied by my sister.  If she is still around, so naturally, the answer would be my mother, a woman who amazingly survived and raised nine kids after my father died at merely 48 years old. I am not sure how anyone could go through this kind of ordeal, having a five-month old baby girl as the youngest child and having an oldest son of only 20 years old.  She also had no job and nobody that helped. Everyone was afraid to get close to us as they were frightened to be put in a situation requiring them to give us assistance. It was extremely challenging, but she faced the challenges the best she could. My young teenage brothers rose to the occasions and took charge.  We were all properly educated and we never starved. God works wonder, constantly.

It does not have to be on Mother's day or her birthday to think of her.  While there are always exceptions to the rule, mothers deeply care of their children, beyond any children can possibly imagine. Whether they were helpless babies or independent adult sons or daughters. It doesn't matter whether they chose to care about her or simply ignore her for most of the time. Irregardless how they have loved or hurt her. It's extremely difficult to break mother's love, it takes so much more than horrible fights and hurtful words aimed at her. 

I was reading a quote below and reminded of my mother, a woman who never scolded me for once, but I still turned out alright. “SHE holds the hand to help you in your First Step,
She is your First Teacher,
SHE holds your hand when You Fall Down,
SHE is the one who guides you in Life,
SHE hides you from all Trouble,
SHE is sometime Mentor,
SHE even nurses you when you Fall ill,
SHE gives you the confidence,
SHE never give False Appreciation,
SHE is the one who will scold you the most on your mistake,
She is the one who even Fight for you when you are right,
SHE is the one who believes in you when others do not,
SHE is the one who Loves you even if You don't love her,
SHE is the one who gave you LIFE,
Do You know Who is 'SHE'??
'SHE' is Mother your own MOM...”

― Debolina Bhawal

Little Girl With Two Ponytails

It was another day in September, Singapore's haze was a common sight. It was warm and humid, it was grey just like most days here.  I was waiting for my appointment and decided to sit by the playground. My eyes caught the sight of a little girl, maybe two years old, walking with her mother by her side. She had two ponytails, looking so much like the girls that I used to know. It suddenly hit me right in the chest, I felt a little pain there and I started thinking of my little girls.

I started to remember how adorable they were at that age. How much they loved and adored me too. How I got lots of hugs and kisses from them. How they always wanted to be near me, to be with me. They wanted to sleep with me and they looked for me when they woke up. How they cried and looked for me when they were hurt. I was their world. The only one. 

They laughed over little things. Nobody had to prove that they were smarter than others. Sadness was wiped away easily. Laughter burst just like that.  We giggled, we laughed out loud over simple things.

Flowers were beautiful, butterflies were gorgeous. Being princess were their dreams. Pink, purple and yellow were their colors. Not black. Not white. 

They were a lot of work but they never hurt me with their actions and their words. Everything was simple and straightforward. No misunderstanding, no complications. There's no need to think hard of choice of words, no big words coming from their little mouth. 

Those times. Those precious moments. The ones that I could never get back. 

My Existence

Too many times I forget that I exist when you need something from me.

Life Lesson

Making mistakes is part of life and part of growing up and growing old and how we learn.  We fall, we get up and we move on. 

I am in the position to take care of your welfare, the job, by default, I have.  I let you do things your way and make minor mistakes. Because you need to learn. Because you need to grow up.

I, however, have to do the best I possibly can, to prevent you from making major mistakes in your life.

You do not need to learn everything the hard way. There are better ways to live life. 

Life Lesson

People are not always there to help you, that's why you have to learn to handle things yourself.

(People come to you to get help, however!)