Another Day.. Some Thoughts

It's another hazy day that I woke up to again for way too many times. I had very little sleep although my flu seemed to have gone away, most of them at least. There's quietness around me and I felt obliged to start my day. My appetite for coffee was not back yet, a sign that I am not quite there in terms of health.

For some people, another day is another worry, another problem. For me that's only true too at times, but some existing problems do not go away, they linger on and bug us like itch. The same people with the same problems continue making their problems as ours. And we continue being unable to cut them out of our life.  And we continue trying to help. And we continue being upset because everything has to be their terms. And life goes on. Life continues with its complexities, many of which can not be understood by them.

People, many of them are the ones have not lived long enough on this earth and gained enough life experiences and think they know a lot of things and believe that the opinion of the people that raise them, do not matter because now they wings and they can fly. But they are so overwhelmed by the many things that adults must be responsible for. Some of them simply quit and travel, some of them start blaming others for what they want in life, and accusing them of trying to force them to do certain things.  Funny, huh? I will add strange too. They then begin their quest in finding happiness.

Now. You raise your children to wear blue, black and white as colors of their clothing. After meeting a certain someone and his family, she wears purple and orange. Are you trying to be rebellious or are you that gullible?

And the haze continues blanketing the city.

How about..

I am nobody's last resort, I am someone's first priority.

Saturday morning, on another hazy day. Now that I am back from my short holiday and you know that, how about asking me how the holiday went. It's fine that you did not wish me a safe journey, I know you don't have me in your mind because you are simply busy with your own life and these days, you don't need me for anything much other than being here and continue existing.

How about stop saying that I am doing negative things to the relationship when I ask how things are and tell you to regularly update me with what's going on in your life and how I feel it is appropriate that you show care about my life?

This relationship has become so imbalanced, with me constantly share the stories of my life with you and you hardly share anything. You constantly disappear and only appear when you need something from me.  Communication is a two way street and so is relationship. It is always about give and take, more or less the same amount. It's about being there in sadness and happiness.  If I want a one way relationship, I'd write a blog post like this, without any expectations that people will write back. When I write to someone directly, it is only right to expect some responses.

Do not think that I am leading a lonely life because my life revolves around so few people now! It's better to have few friends than thousands of acquaintances.
Do not think that I am needy because I need to hear from you! Caring about someone that is closely related is not needy, caring about someone that you know for a long time is not pathetic.  It's too bad that you think otherwise.

Don't believe that love is conditional, even the love from your parents or your spouse.  You need to know that if you constantly treat the ones that love you like they don't matter, even if there were your parents, you could simply forget about being loved. Everyone might leave you.  Everyone could leave you to a better place.

People are smart enough to spend time with those who make them happy and better and do not want to waste time on things that are miserable and bring negativity. Life is too short, babe! Everyone wants to be happy.

How about you learn to genuinely care about the people that have been crucial in life? #gratitude

About Living Away From Home For College

Living thousand miles away from home has its perks. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. In random order,  whichever pops up in my head, here they are:

1. Sleeping business, I can wake up and go to bed whenever I want and nobody comes to my room to bug me and tell me off. Bonus point, there is no need to tidy up the bed.

2. I can miss my classes or arrive late and my parents would not know that.

3. I can fail on my exams and my parents would not know because I am above 18 years old and they can't find out about my grades without my consent.

4. They pay for my tuition and room and board and I don't have to work to earn a living as long I am enrolled.

5. I can buy and eat whatever I want, as much or as little.   I can have so many different snacks in my room and have all of them opened and my parents would not know.

6. I can wear my contact lens longer than 12 hours and nobody tells me to take them off.

7. I can rewear my clothes and my underwears as many times I wish and my parents would not know.  I can dress the way I want and nobody tells me off. My shorts are too shorts or my tees are wrinkled, who cares???

8. I can go out and go home anytime I want. No curvew.

9. There's so much joy I have and can give by telling my parents that I am studying, having a group study, reading my text books or doing my homework. It's a nice gesture to text them, that I am in the library. (Techincally, I am inside the library, that's it.)

10. I don't have to pick up their phone calls as I could be in the class or studying in the library, or sleeping, because of different time zone.

11. If I don't reply their email and text messages and my parents can't do anything about it.

12. I can spend all day and all night with my special friend, friends, watching whatever one after another and nobody tells me off.

13. Back to laundry business, I don't even have to do my laundry. I simply keep the dirty ones  and bring them home and someone else will do it because she can't stand the sight of them.

14. I don't have to do the dishes if I do not want to. I just leave them out there until there is a need for them or the desire to clean up, comes. Whichever comes first.

15. I can let the dust piles up as tall as Empire State building and my parents would not know and tell me off.

16. I can miss most of Sunday masses and my parents become too tired to tell me off and I can continue missing Sunday masses

17. There is always a way to turn things around and make them my parents fault, for example if they, from time to time remind me to go to church or not to do certain bad things, I could say: "You tell me that so many times already!!"

(You see, I am actually saying, you are nagging me! I know I never reply to my parents, despite repeat reminders.  It will be okay, parents' love is unconditional. They will still love me!)

18. If they start threatening me with cutting off the fund or relationship, I can always attack them and say, "You always threaten me! I don't say anything bad.". This should make them feel bad because good parents do not threaten. Good parents kindly give terms and conditions like banks giving out loans.

19. Technicality. Reply only what is asked. I do not volunteer unnecessary information that reveals my lack of work ethics that are not in line with my parents value.

20. I can always go home to a super clean and tidy room and a house full of love and food, totally the opposite of how I left it.