The same people that you love and care so much, sometimes are the same ones that hurt you the most. Doesn't that make you wonder if you should ever love and care? But love and care, naturally were born and you can't possibly deny the feelings. They say love should not hurt, but love does. That's confusing. How could two conflicting things be true? Maybe because both could happen. I am not an expert in this as I am just a student of life. The one that continuously learns and build up her wealth of experience. But I, have things to say and am allowed to say it. I earned this.
They say love is beautiful. When you are hurt because you love, you can no longer see it as beautiful, can't you? It hurts, it hurts and it hurts. All you can feel is pain. Life is hard, life is challenging, sometimes you don't even know how to deal with it. You continue driving, but you keep on bumping the walls. North, west, south and east. Every direction seems wrong. You are bruised, you are exhausted. You want the pain to stop, but even as you stop, the pain lingers.
I'd say, maybe you should leave. Leave your current place completely and go to the place or places where love is there for you. You know where it is. Maybe a new group of people, people that share your interests and appreciate your achievements, where your experience is valued and admired, as you should be. A place where you are respected, because you are truly great at what you are doing. A place where you can be beaming with pride among the people that make you smile and laugh, where you can love and be loved. You deserve that and much more. Go there! Love.